I own a small Private Equity Firm — Small, like, $20,000,000 in assets at the moment. We buy, sell, and operate a number of businesses in the Greater Phoenix Area including 5 check cashing stores, 8 pawn shops, a number bars, an apartment complex, and about 100 rental houses. We are doing close to $1,000,000 monthly in fix and flips and are probably a top 10 housing wholesaler in the Phoenix Area, For better or worse, we seem to have a good grip on the Maryvale area. I have a big house, a small dog, and it seems not much of anything else at the moment. 
 
And, then we also own the US Distributorship for the #1 middle market baking software solution in the United States. Not that you would have heard of that baking software company, but we are the leader in bakeries with 100 to 500 employees. Chompie’s uses our software locally to run their wholesale baking operation. 
 
That baking software company, which is not as large as we might like it to be, is in need of someone to help them with their accounting and organization. We currently have two support people, and then Scott the co-owner and salesperson is there selling stuff. Scott is a great salesperson, but he’s not great at accounting. There really isn’t a lot of accounting to do, but he’s not the one to do it. And, our support staff is fairly busy and not really geared towards accounting and collection. 
 
The open tasks I have for you to do are: 
 
Drive houses in the AM to figure out what we are going to bid on. We need someone for West Phoenix. So, #1 — you have to be near Maryvale, but ideally you don’t live in Maryvale becuase, well, if you do you might be a bit more brushed up on your gang symbols than we might like you to. I know you are thinking, I’m strong and I want a job and this sounds like a cool job, but if it’s 4:30pm and you’re sitting at my house in Paradise Valley where you will be a few days a week, it takes 1.5 hours to drive over to the West Side, and so it’s dark before than. And, traffic in the AM is also ugly. Ideally you want to live in Central Phoenix, perhaps a bit West or North. If you live near Metro Center, put a STAR next to your name. That’s a good place for you to live. 
 
This Chinese Fire Drill involves either you or Sam pulling down houses in a certain area and driving them. The way it works is that the bid list comes out at 4pm, and then you drive houses either from 5pm to Dark or from 8am to about Noon, but only on days that we are bidding. We are probably bidding 10 days a month. We would bid more if we had more money, but — well — you can blow through $500K pretty quickly and then it takes time to sell them off. To bid on a house, you need to drive to the house, knock on the door, leave a business card, look through the windows, and get about 4 or 5 pictures for us. So, if you’re thinking — I’m cute, young and 21 and they are going to kidnap me — well, I can’t help you there. We’ve never lost a driver, but you need to say hi to the people whose houses we are bidding on — Ideally, you talk to them, they have money to buy it back with (IE: Mom is loaded and she will help), and then we can get a price out of them. We buy it at the auction for 40K, and sell it back to them for 60K. So, just driving and viewing the house from across the street isn’t a solution — you have to find a way to make us money too. And, you’d be surprised, we probably have made 75K in the past 120 days selling houses back to their owners. It’s crazy stuff, but not everyone knows how or where or has the cash to buy the house back — WE DO, and I like to think we’re pretty good at it. 
 
So, you need a car and a phone that takes pictures. We can cover the cost of the phone service, and cover the cost of you driving around. If we buy something, you get $100, and you get paid for driving around as well. You can dress nicely, but casual. Ideally you look like you have a bit of money, but not so much money that they are going to take your Rolex away from you. 
 
Then, after this adventure on some days, you probably would get to stop at GlobalBake 2 or 3 days a week. I’m really not sure what they have over there that is so fricking complex that they can’t make a bank deposit and get the total in Quickbooks to line up with the total at the bank, but they need your help. If you get confused, you can fax it to me and I’ll help you out there. You probably would also be talking to the guys in New Zeland about us paying their royalties. I tire of talking to them, and they want someone to be more sensitive to their needs (well, perhaps just to respond to them). If you can find some good stuff to do over there, Scott can keep you for as long as you and he thinks it makes sense. Scott is very good at selling things and has a tremendously good attitude. He’s a good guy, but he needs support. He also knows baking software better than you or I ever will — and I’m good with that. 
 
Then, ideally, I would see you at my house in Paradise Valley for 2 or 3 days a week where you would perform all sorts of relevant tasks like sending out 5 day notices to people who aren’t paying, sending out invoices, suing people who owe us money, doing skip traces on them, and perhaps calling the repo company once you find cars that are missing. You also could enjoy a free lunch while you are here becuase lunch is a high spot for me. We might be able to put you on some accounting tasks or reconciliations depending on how detail oriented you are. Maybe we could send you to the pawn shop to make loans, or perhaps have to sell cars we get in (listing them online), or ? Ideally, I’m going to find something for you to do that helps me out, or you’re going to find something to do that makes us money.  
 
Starting pay is $10.00 an hour, maybe $11.00 if it makes sense. I figure $2000 a month is a good target salary plus we’ll buy you lunch (there’s a benefit) on days when you are working here at my house. You get a moderately pleasent working enviornment, a cute dog to create small diversions, and a slighly caustic attitude where we seem to find small joy in having the judge issue arrest warrants when people won’t return cars on which they have stopped paying their title loans. Your potential salary should rise to a level of your worth to us within 6 months. Some folks rise faster, some folks never rise. We have Sam the house guy who seems to be making 25K a month net to Sam buying and selling houses — absurd — but, who am I to complain. He’s got skill, brains, connections, and a great attitude. He also has about 10 people working under him who he brought with him. We have pawn shop folks who probably top out at about 45K or 50K for the regional manager. Bar employees, who work for tips. Bar managers who aren’t making much because bars aren’t makign much — but there was my cousin who made over 100K every year for what must have a 15 year spell there until everything went to hell and so now he’s gone and making way less because — well — there is some argement that he was a bit overpaid, but we pay for profit and he was oh so profitable (bars are very slow right now in blue collar areas — and that’s what we have — all blue collar). I would think that the software company would probably be in the 35K range for someone great, perhaps 40K, and maybe 50K if there were some sales ability to go along with the accounting skills. 
 
So, yeah, salary is wide open. The key is finding something that makes money, and then getting your share of it. If you are working directly for me as a super accounting helper, you might get to 40K total compensation in time. But, making the actual money is typically better than being the helper. Often easier said than done. 
 
Read it twice. Send over some kind of a resume. I would prefer to see some sort of college, and I would think from the above, you need computer skills — I can work you through Quickbooks though, so while it might be nice to have used it, that’s not absolutely necessary. 

• Location: 3233 W. Peoria Avenue, #215
• Compensation: $10 to $12 an hour. Potential to 50K?
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